Long distance caregiving has its own emotional tides, some days it’s the high tides and some days low.

When we are with our dependent parents, we feel secure about their well-being but the moment it’s time to say goodbye, it’s an emotional dilemma.

The guilt of what will happen in our absence looms over the head like the Sword of Damocles. The only way to win the battle of emotional turmoil is to put on the armour of hope, pick up the shield of bravery and fight like a lion.

The big question is, when we have to leave our parents for a few days, how do we overcome the sinking feeling in the heart? What if I get the dreaded final call when I am not around?

Mind games starts playing the devil’s advocate, thoughts like will my parents be able to manage without me? Will they be taken care of? How and who will come in case of an emergency? Who will pick them up in case of a fall etc etc. starts corrupting the grey cells.

Just before the hugging and goodbyes, tensions flare up on both sides, irritability and blood pressure shoots up like a mercury thermometer. 

Last minute arguments and advices are a result of nervousness and fear which I guess are a precursor before saying au revoir.

Last minute concerned advice to parents is like a mother giving instructions to her children;

Please walk slowly and carefully, don’t fall again like last week. 

Don’t have cold water because your throat is giving trouble.

Try sleeping in the middle of the bed so you don’t fall in the night again.

Please don’t mix up your blood pressure and cholesterol medicines again etc etc…..

I guess as caregivers our only wish is to remain being a Caretaker irrespective of the stress involved and not become an Undertaker.

Pankaj Mehrotra