Majority of us humans tend to be scared of dying, it is but natural. 

There are many instances in life where I have come across extremely strong willed people, who don’t give up on life, no matter how difficult the situation maybe. These situations could be financial difficulties, emotional, medical or any other but then not everyone is strong willed.

There is another set of people who are so scared of dying that they are not willing to let go of their physical body. This is more prevalent in older adults and/or those who are suffering from life threatening diseases.

Even after years of being medically bedridden, these people are so attached to life or rather scared of dying, that inspite of being in and out of hospitals and the doctors having informed the family, that the time is near; they refuse to let go. 

Somehow the “inevitable” becomes indefinitely prolonged, taking a toll on the family as well as the individual themselves.

In order to help such people who are on their deathbed but are not willing to let go, there are professionally trained people who can help ease the transition. These people come in the form of priests, guru’s, doctors, social care workers etc. 

These people don’t do any magic, but are trained professionals who help ease the fear of death. They might hold the person’s hands, read out verses from religious books, depending upon the faith of the person or use psychology to give confidence and courage to the individual who is dying.

Professional counsellors instill confidence amongst those who are in their last days that’s it’s ok to die. They counsel and assure them that their families will still manage to survive without them, and dying is a natural part of life.

There are many family members who are the primary caregivers for their near and dear ones, however due to the stress involved with caring for a last stage family member, caregiving takes a toll on their mental and physical health also.

While it is easy to write about the stress involved with caregiving but then it is important that family members need to take care of themselves also. Caregiving cannot be done if the caregiver himself/herself needs to be cared for.

Death and dying is an uncomfortable subject in India and most of us tend to shy away from discussing about it, but then not taking about the same can have bigger implications like pent-up fear, depression, negativity and short tempered nature.

My advice to people who are in palliative or hospice care is, “Death is God’s way to end the sufferings in life”, so embrace it as a solution and not as a problem.

Imagine if one has to face all the pain and agony from the day we are born, so be thankful that we have to face the sufferings only for a few years and not from the day we open our eyes.

Pankaj Mehrotra