Sometimes Elderly Care seems more difficult than learning Rocket Science, not because of the hardware and computer programming but because of the skills and endurance required for caregiving.
Caregiving is a combination of art and science and is very similar to launching a rocket in space. There is the thrust, pressure, velocity, takeoff, stage 1, stage 2, final stage, burnout and detach.
Initially it's the concern or the thrust which drives a person to take care of others, then comes the gradual pressure of caregiving, then the first stage of burnout and finally one becomes immune or unconcerned and gets detached.
Caregiving should ideally never be a single person's responsibility, it should be shared as a family otherwise along with the person requiring care the caregiver also becomes the one who needs care.
The larger point of debate is, is our paid Caregiver force sensitized on the various types of stress associated with the role of caregiving?
Caregiving stress is not only about physical stress and strain, it can also be emotional, guilt or helplessness.
Sometimes the paid Caregivers gets too attached to the person they are caring for that it becomes an emotional stress to leave them, sometimes it's the guilt of not being around to help someone and lastly the stress of feeling helpless when a caregiver is unable to help the person requiring care.
In my opinion, respite care is extremely important for Caregivers, be it family or professional Caregivers, taking a few days off definitely helps otherwise the relationship starts catching rust and gets caustic.
Do answer a few questions yourself;
1) Have you taken a few days off from caregiving in the past 3 months?
2) Do you feel guilty that you are not doing your best as a caregiver?
3) Do you feel guilty if going for a holiday or taking a day off from caregiving?
4) Is your physical and mental health deteriorating?
5) Are your relations with friends, family and professional life getting affected?
There are no right or wrong answers but then, it is a thin line between being a caregiver to becoming a person requiring care.
Pankaj Mehrotra
